


Bi-Furious

by metrophobic



Category: South Park
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Awkward Sexual Situations, Bi-Curiosity, Bottom Clyde, Craig Tucker Being An Asshole, Double Oral Penetration, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Sexual Humor, Spitroasting, Threesome - M/M/M, Top Craig, Top Token
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-07
Updated: 2018-07-07
Packaged: 2019-06-06 23:06:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15205481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/metrophobic/pseuds/metrophobic
Summary: Token admits to Craig one day that he might not be as straight as he thinks. Craig has a brilliant idea for him: a threeway. With Clyde. Token begrudgingly accepts. It's either the worst—or best—decision in his life.





	Bi-Furious

**Author's Note:**

> This, too, was rotting in my Gdocs for several years until I decided to just finish the damn thing and unleash it upon the world. You're welcome: all like, three of you who will actually read this.

"So, I have a confession to make," said Token one afternoon. He and Craig were hanging out after class, procrastinating (at Craig's behest) on their group project for Advertising. It was a sunny day, but Craig wanted to knock something back and not get in trouble for it, so they were occupying the currently-empty living room of Craig's suite.

"Yeah?" Craig muttered into the amber lip of his Coors Light, and took a hearty slurp. The stuff tasted like what he imagined the flavour of piss to be, but it made him feel pretty awesome anyway, and Craig was all about feeling awesome under the comforting veil of mediocrity. That was also why he'd been pounding his best friend for the last six months on the regular, typically weekends, sometimes Wednesday nights. It only took two weeks for Clyde Donovan to start calling Craig his _boyfriend_ in private, and when Craig simply shrugged and didn't refute the title, it was a mere two days until their labeled companionship became common knowledge within their social circle.

And then some.

"Well, don't take this the wrong way." Token was not drinking—he strictly reserved Friday nights to get loaded, occasionally pushed back to a Saturday if nothing was happening—and he was idly perusing their design notes. With his gaze averted, Craig could not help but admire his handsome profile. "I'm definitely _not_ interested in you like that, and I'm not propositioning anything—"

"Get _out,_ " Craig said, lowering the beer bottle from his lips, which had gone slack in surprise.

"Hang on." Token quickly held up a hand. "See, I can tell you're already jumping to the wrong conclusion. I still like girls. I guess you could say—"

"You're bi," Craig finished for him. "Wow."

"Bi- _curious,_ " Token immediately countered.

Craig could not have possibly contained the small bark of laughter that escaped him even if he tried. "Oh my god."

Token heaved a sigh and shook his head. "You know," he remarked, "out of everyone, I figured you'd be the most supportive. It's not even a big deal, honestly. Maybe this is the time to figure all that shit out. It _is_ college, after all."

"Yeah." Craig set down his beer. "And I believe I have the answer that will solve all of your problems."

"Nah," Token replied. "No offense. You're just not really my type."

Craig rolled his eyes. "You're not mine either. I was going to suggest Clyde." He must have said this so flatly and so devoid of any conviction that Token had to find out for sure, because as soon as Craig had said that, Token looked up at him and actually quirked an eyebrow. Craig smirked back.

"Consider it."

"Okay, first of all, isn't that Clyde's decision to make? Secondly, he's even less my type than you are."

_Then what_ **_is_ ** _your type?_ wondered Craig, but all it took was one glance at Token's shift in demeanour for him to realize that his friend was bluffing. It was for the best, really, because that idle curiosity started and ended in his own head; Craig had already decided he wasn't going to ask.

"You are so full of shit."

"Well—"

"You want to fuck Clyde. You have a thing for chunky white asses. You want that big mouth on your dick. Admit it."

"Okay, forget I said anything." Token started to pack up his things. "I'm going to study by myself for the rest of the evening."

"Wait, wait. No. This is great. This works out perfectly. I am going to make a phone call right now." Craig was already fishing his phone out of his pocket and hitting the speed dial. "If I called Clyde right this second, would it put your reservations to rest."

"I told you to forget it, Craig." Token was frowning, brow knit, and he looked like he was getting pretty pissed off. All the better to have that energy to channel later, honestly.

"This will only take a second." The ringing of the phone chirped once in Craig's ear before he tapped the screen, and then the sound of it filled the room. Twice more, and Clyde's voice poured from the speaker.

" _What's goin' on, Dicky Bird._ "

Token looked horrified. Craig didn't even bat an eyelash. "Hey," he said blatantly, as if to draw Clyde's attention rather than actually greet him. "What about Token."

" _Really!? Holy shit. Did you ask him?_ "

"Yeah. He's in."

"Uh, ex _cuse_ me—" Token tried to interject. Craig held up a hand to silence him.

" _Wow. Holy fucking shit. We're actually doing this. This is gonna be so killer, bae!_ "

"Yep. See you tomorrow."

" _Okay! Bye! I love you!_ "

Craig clicked the phone shut and coolly slid it back into his pocket. This called for another beer. Token was standing next to him, fingers clenching and releasing in the couch at odd intervals. He looked like he was absolutely speechless, which was just as good as acquiescence in Craig's book. Craig smiled at him and walked over to the refrigerator; this time, he pulled out two of the bottles.

"Skip that juvenile kegger tomorrow night," he stated once he'd returned to the couch, where Token was still staring at him, "and come party with us instead. You won't even have to lose the clothes."

"I didn't agree to anything, Craig," Token finally retorted, but he accepted the offered bottle.

"Then don't come. Whatever. It's not like we're holding a gun to your head." Craig reached for Token's backpack as if to start pulling out his notes again, but Token pushed his hand away, and pulled the thing over a shoulder.

"I'll think about it," Token said testily. "Good night."

And with that, he was gone.

 

* * *

 

Token did show up, of course. It was at around 9:15 in the evening, and Craig and Clyde were occupying Craig's bedroom with wandering hands and the breathy, wet noises of kissing. Clyde was shirtless, Craig was not, Clyde tried to pull off Craig's shirt but ended up getting his hand shoved down Craig's pants instead—and that's when the knock came at the door.

"Aww," Clyde whined, pulling his hand free. "God damn it."

Craig ignored his protest and opened the door. When he saw who it was, you'd think he'd just been handed a winning lottery ticket or given free reign to bash up all the windows in his dorm building or something.

"Hey," was all he said, though, standing aside to let Token in before locking the door securely behind him.

"Hey, bro!" Clyde said excitedly, and extended a fist. When Token did not accept the very manly gesture of tapping one's knuckles to another, Clyde frowned a little—but then he seemed to realize it was because Token was staring at his bared chest like he'd never seen it before. That made it okay.

"I don't want a lot of talk about this," Token stated. He unbuttoned his shirt and pulled it from his shoulders, revealing some very nice, very dark arms and the smooth cut of his collarbone above the tank top underneath, which he did not take off.

"That's fine," Craig replied. "We don't plan on doing a lot of talking. At the very least, not Clyde. Right, Clyde."

Clyde, who had been absolutely stoked for this to happen and sending Craig texts all day like _cant w8 for tonite omg im so horny bae_ and _r u gonna dp or take turns???_ , suddenly became shy. He fiddled with the edges of the small, discreet silk pouch over one hip and nodded.

"Good," Craig flicked his nose, and for a moment Token thought he was being mean or something, but Clyde smiled. "Now finish stripping." He scrambled to his feet and obeyed: first by pulling down his pants and letting them fall to his ankles, showing off the green football-covered boxers underneath, and then letting them follow suit. Clyde didn't look half-bad naked, Token realized, seeing him with new eyes. There had been glimpses at sleepovers and in locker rooms over the years; Clyde went through a phase following his mother's death where he ate his feelings. As a result, throughout middle school, he was almost—and yet certainly not quite—as big as Cartman, but playing football in high school had hardened a good deal of it. Now in their sophomore year of university, he hadn't made the cut for their team so he was getting a bit soft around the edges again. It was kind of adorable and strangely, ridiculously attractive. Token could feel himself get a bit hard in his designer jeans as his eyes swept over Clyde's puffy little nipples and the subtle softness at his stomach.

Token decided then that he was really glad Craig was such a good sport about figuring out his budding attraction to his boyfriend.

"Okay," Craig said, coming up behind Clyde and squeezing his bubble butt. Clyde made a whining noise in the back of his throat and shoved at him. "So. His ass is off-limits, except to me. You can do whatever else you want to him, though."

"I'm not ready to go that far, anyway," Token replied, willing himself not to comment on the oddness of Craig speaking _for_ Clyde. "I think I'll just stick with third base."

"Does that include oral?" Clyde asked, dropping his gaze to Token's crotch. It should have been awkward but it just made Token harder.

"Yeah, sure," Token conceded. Clyde leaned forward and hauled him into a kiss. It was a little sloppy, with Clyde immediately shoving his tongue down Token's throat and making him grimace on the inside, but it wasn't that bad. Token had figured that if he ever got the courage to try kissing another guy, it would have been better to just surge in and go for it, so he was pleased that Clyde took the initiative. He tasted a little like beer and popcorn, which would have sounded disgusting objectively but it was an interesting mingle of salt and bitter.

"Good," said Craig. "That's good." When Clyde withdrew to breathe he pressed him down with a shoulder and took up the claim to Token's mouth himself. It actually surprised Token, because he was fairly sure they'd established _not_ being into each other already, but he just rolled with it. Craig was a far neater kisser than Clyde; the swipes of tongue were almost calculated, and he had a thing for using teeth, apparently, because Token kept feeling them on his bottom lip. Craig was close enough that Token could smell the cologne under his jaw.

"Ugh, stop leaving me _out,_ " Clyde whimpered next to them, and reached for Craig's pants. Craig almost shoved his hand away, instinctively—he didn't quite like being taken by surprise, and Clyde should have fucking known better—but he relented in the end, and pushed it up against the front of his jeans. He was half-hard already, and with Clyde pawing at him like that, he managed to get Craig's pants open before hauling his dick out. Craig pulled his mouth away with a moist sound and grabbed Clyde's other hand, shoving it up between Token's legs.

"Damn," Token said, watching as Clyde unzipped him. "You don't waste any time."

"I thought we weren't talking," Craig quipped, and then slid his hand into Clyde's messy brown hair, tugging at a fistful of it. "All right. Get down." Token could not tear his gaze away as Clyde got down on his knees, presumably to start blowing Craig right then and there, but it was Token's cock he drew out and adoringly kissed.

"Just go easy on me," Clyde said. "I've never had a monster like this before."

"He doesn't have a horse-cock, you dipshit, that's a racist stereotype." As if to further express his annoyance, Craig took his own prick in hand and slapped it against Clyde's cheek, who fussed at him.

"Shut uuuup. It's getting pretty big, pookie. Look at this shit."

"Ugh," Token irritably scratched at his head. "Okay, I'm not gonna stand here and listen to him call you stupid nicknames all night."

"Yeah, dickface," Craig agreed, pushing Clyde's head forward so that it was buried in Token's crotch. "Shut the fuck up."

"Uuuuhh!" Clyde made a noise that sounded sort of halfway between a moan and a childish whine, but then he was sucking the head of Token's prick into his mouth, drawing more of it past his lips. Craig patted him affectionately on the shoulder and then just stood there and watched for a moment. Clyde was happily slurping away on Token's hardening shaft and Token, trying to remain the picture of serenity, was failing a little. His eyes were dark and hazy, and he was breathing a little heavier. Hesitantly, he ran his fingers through Clyde's hair with considerably more gentleness than Craig.

"Wow," he murmured, and couldn't bring himself to say anything else.

"Yeah," Craig smirked. "He's fucking good at this shit. Aren't you. Let's give you the main course."

Before Token could even ask what that meant, Craig was tugging on Clyde's hair again, and he drew his head back. His lips were wet and his pupils were dilated. "Hunh?" he asked, looking confused. Craig wrapped his fingers around his own cock and tapped the head of it against the other side of Clyde's mouth. Clyde whimpered. "—man, I dunno."

"What do you mean. You wanted this."

"But they're so much bigger in person!" Clyde was rubbing his cheek against the shaft of Craig's dick as he spoke, though, still licking at Token's. Finally, he grabbed them each in a fist and drew them both toward his mouth.

"See. You're all right," Craig sighed. He pushed forward with his hips a little, rocking his swollen prick further into the heat of Clyde's wet mouth, and Clyde whined at him again.

"Go slow!" he said, a little muffled around all the flesh in his mouth. Craig and Token had migrated so close together that they were standing hip-to-hip, Clyde's jaw stretched around them both, staring up at them with glistening eyes. He looked sort of pathetic. Craig laughed at him and pressed a hand to the back of his neck, forcing his head down further. Clyde made some sort of muffled keening sound, and the eyelashes at the corners of his eyes grew wet.

"Look, maybe we should ease up on him," Token said.

"Nah," Craig replied; but he moved his hand away from Clyde's head anyway, and patted his chubby, bulging cheek. Clyde looked like a hamster that was storing food away for later, which was sort of cute, and Craig could feel Token's dick knock against his, which was sort of hot. Clyde slid his head back with a _pop_ and gasped loudly for breath.

"God," he fussed. "I can't do it. You're both too big." It was like a complaint and a compliment in one. Craig patted his head affectionately.

"You're a good sport. Nice try."

"Nooo," Clyde cried. "I wanna, just... just gimme a second!" He brought a hand up and scrubbed at his eyes, sniffling. Then he opened up wide and tried to take them in again. His teeth brushed dangerously against Craig's cock and Craig grunted in response, hips twitching.

"Watch the teeth."

Clyde made a noise of indignation, but then he was actually sucking on them—sucking! He'd managed to wedge them both into his mouth and on his tongue together and he was slurping loudly like he'd just been handed two of the world’s greatest candy-canes. It was kind of gross, but Craig was hard anyway. He reached to feel along the base of Token's cock and his balls. He was hard too.

"That didn't take long."

"Yeah, well," Token just kind of shrugged at him. Craig closed his eyes and shifted his pelvis forward, trying to fit more securely into Clyde's mouth. Clyde made another noise in the back of his throat and slapped at his thigh.

"You can take it," Craig sighed, without even opening his eyes again. He waved his hand a little to indicate Token join him in the attempt to get Clyde to deepthroat them both, but he refrained. Clyde had gone back to suckling at them, making little whining noises in his throat as Craig slowly fucked his mouth, raising in pitch the further back he got.

Finally, Clyde was jerking his head back, coughing and sobbing for breath at the same time.

"Damn," Token said, patting his back. "You okay, man?"

"Ugh ... yeah..." Clyde was pouting, though, as he got up and sat on the bed. "I can't do anything right," he fussed after a moment.

"Get on your hands and knees. We're not done yet." Craig was pulling off his shirt as he said this. Token did not move from where he was, nor did he take anything else off. The look on his face said that he was feeling awkward as Hell, but was too intrigued by this arrangement to bail.

"Okay." Clyde snuffled loudly and turned over. He had a pretty nice ass, even if the single egg-sized ball hanging beneath it was a little awkward to look at. Craig grabbed the lubricant from the bedside table, spread Clyde's ass open with his fingers, and proceeded to squeeze the stuff over his asshole. Clyde squealed loudly and clenched.

" _Shh,_ " Craig said, sounding more annoyed than soothing.

"It's fucking cold!" Clyde yelped back at him, like he hadn't taken the stuff on him a hundred times before. There was only a quarter of the bottle left. Token watched in mingled repulsion and fascination; it was kind of disgusting because he knew these guys, had known them since kindergarten, but certainly more interesting than gay porn. And Clyde's hole was kind of cute, which was a really fucked-up descriptor to assign to someone's ass, but Token was already in too deep. He stared as Craig pressed a finger into him, and Clyde whined and jerked. This suddenly seemed a little too intimate a moment for Token to be witnessing.

"That's so good, bae," Clyde panted out after a few seconds of this, ruining the moment. Every time he called Craig _bae_ like that, Token kind of really wanted to punch him in the face. But he refrained, sitting back cross-legged beside them. When Craig worked in another finger Clyde practically thrashed on the bed. " _Oww—!_ " he whined. "Now it's not good anymooore!"

"You know it will be," Craig answered him, reaching to squeeze a fistful of ass.

"Is he always like this?" Token finally asked, sitting there with his—pretty fucking gorgeous dick, all things considered—hanging out of his pants, but he wasn't touching it. Craig felt his mouth water a little. Even though he didn't like bottoming all that much, he almost wished _he_ were the one about to take the brunt of what he'd planned, just so he could get that luscious meat into his mouth. He resolved to find some way to fit that into his own advantage tonight.

"Pretty much," Craig said, little moist sounds coming from where he was stroking and pushing his fingers. Clyde had pressed his face into the pillow and was making noises like he was crying. Obviously it _was_ good, though, or his own dick wouldn't have been swaying heavily between his legs. In fact, he was turning to balance himself against a shoulder so he could reach down and stroke himself.

"S-sorry," Clyde hiccuped, finally lifting his head. His face was flushed, but there weren't actually any tears on it. "Craig, gimme your dick, I hate this."

"Be patient," Craig said, and gestured toward Token. "Go in front of him. He can suck you off while I do this."

"Nooo," Clyde whined, so Token didn't move. "I don't wanna until you're inside me!"

"I'll put it in while you're blowing him," Craig answered. "Go, Token."

Token was apprehensive, but the way Clyde had his mouth around him prior to this _did_ feel good, so he shifted around to settle before Clyde's face. Taking himself up in hand, Token proceeded to hold himself sturdy while Clyde bent his head and started licking him from the cock-head all the way down to the hilt. "You have nice balls," he said.

"Uh, thanks?" Token didn't even try to hide how weirded out he was by that. Clyde's thick tongue was drawing over them and his vision got a little darker. Token fought the urge to make some kind of sound but drew out a sigh anyway, and then Clyde was swallowing the cap of him and he bucked his hips forward. "That's actually pretty good, yeah."

"Told you," said Craig from behind the squelching mess that was Clyde's asshole and his fingers, and Token couldn't tell which of them he was addressing. Clyde was bobbing his head and making little suckling sounds and it felt so much better when it was just him, without Craig's dick to knock against, a mouth that was soft and wet and took so much so well. Token ruffled Clyde's hair, unable to stop himself.

"Okay," Craig was saying, and when Token refocused his gaze he could see that Craig had freed both his hands and was currently rubbing his dick against the crack of Clyde's ass. Token's cock gave a little twitch against Clyde's tongue and he suddenly wished he had a better view. "Are you ready for it." He said it in a manner that was so flatly domineering that it was comical, like really, really bad acting. Token couldn't stop the sudden chortle of laughter that burst from his throat. Craig, surprisingly, didn't even look offended—but that was because Clyde was eating this shit up.

"Uh-huh," he sort of whimpered around Token's cock, hips bucking backwards. Craig pressed a hand flat against one full cheek and prodded at him a little. Clyde whined again and started to sniffle. " _Mm-hmm!_ " he affirmed again, this time sounding much more insistent, demanding. It was obvious this kind of crap happened a lot when they fucked and Token wasn't sure what to make of that.

"Come on, little—uh." Craig stopped himself, and Token was grateful for that, because he wasn't sure what inane pet-name was coming next and he really didn't want to know, like, at all. Craig patted Clyde's flank. "You can take it." Token watched him press forward, and even though he didn’t _quite_ have the view he wished he had, Clyde suddenly whined all high-pitched and his fat tongue lashed at Token’s dick, and Token knew that meant the head of Craig’s prick had popped into his asshole.

"Oh, yeah," Craig went on, like Token had a front-row seat to a really, really shitty porno movie, recorded live in front of a studio audience. "Yeah, you take that dick, you bitch."

"Do you really get like this?" Token finally asked, unable to take it anymore. Craig’s eyes flashed toward him. There was absolutely nothing in them that indicated he was turned on; he might as well have been folding the laundry. It was a wonder his dick was even hard, but clearly, it was, because he was balls-deep in his boyfriend’s chunky white ass. Suddenly, in spite of his desire to remain safely on third base, Token envied him after all.

"Get like what."

" _Mm-hmm,_ " went Clyde, and nodded furiously on Token’s cock. He knew exactly what Token was talking about.

"Nevermind," Token conceded, and leaned back again to enjoy the sloppy, messy, _incredible_ blowjob he was getting. Clyde grunted out his enjoyment when Token ran his fingers through his hair again. It was really soft. He enjoyed it, too.

"Don’t nut in his mouth," said Craig, rocking his hips in and out, his movements practically methodical. "Pull out and get it all over his face."

"That’s disgusting," said Token. "What makes you think I want to do that?"

"He wants it," said Craig, dry as ever. He punctuated this with a slap to Clyde’s behind, and Token watched the portion of flesh he could actually _see_ ripple with the movement. That was pretty hot. "Don’t ya."

" _Mmmmmghhh,_ " Clyde whined loudly. Token couldn’t tell if that particular noise was supposed to be _yes_ or _no._ It was really unclear.

"I don’t think I’m even gonna get off from this," Token said with a sigh. "This is too weird."

"Yeah," Craig agreed with him. "It is. At least one of us is having the time of his life." True to form, Token glanced down and caught sight of Clyde fiercely jacking his dick.

"I mean," Token suddenly felt the need to reassure his friend—not the jackass knelt across from him, but the one hard at work slobbing all over his knob like a fat kid devouring cake, "it _does_ feel pretty good." Clyde beamed up at him, the smile around Token’s dick reaching his eyes. Token awkwardly smiled back, just a little.

"Ugh," Craig grunted. He pulled out of Clyde’s ass and started jacking on himself, too. "I’m gonna come," he said, nonchalantly.

"I’m not."

"Ffff—" and Craig’s voice suddenly hit a falsetto note Token had never heard before from the likes of him, " _fuuuck._ " Token watched as he splattered over one of Clyde’s ass-cheeks while gasping for breath a few times, and then, dick still in hand, rubbed it all over the mess.

Token pressed both of his hands to Clyde’s chubby face, and gingerly extracted himself from his wet mouth. Clyde licked his lips and panted, his eyes glazed over.

"That’s my bitch," said Craig. "Now jerk off. You should jerk off on his face," he added, turning his gaze on Token again.

"No thanks," said Token. "I’ll pass."

Clyde finished while Token quietly rearranged his own clothing. He was squirming and mewling as Token zipped up his jeans, and even though Token wasn’t looking closely enough to spy the dirty details, he knew Clyde was coming all over their bedspread. Token didn’t want to think about how many times that happened, or how often they washed their sheets.

"Are you leaving?" Clyde gasped from the bed. Craig was lying on top of him, head resting on his shoulder.

"Yeah." What did one even say at a time like this? ‘See ya later’? ‘Well, it’s been fun’? ‘Thanks for nothing’?

"We should really do this again sometime," said Craig. "How about next Tuesday."

"Yeah, sure," Token replied. "I’ll text you."

**Author's Note:**

> I actually posted a chapter to a different, unrelated fic (Tweeker Nation) today, wherein Craig _also_ reflects on how Coors tastes like piss but drinks it anyway. Like I mentioned, this garbage one-shot was written years ago. It was a funny coincidence so I left it in.


End file.
